Saturday, November 13, 2010

"For Colored Girls" DELIVERS COLORED OSCARS


Director Tyler Perry is typically known for his Church Hat chitlin' circuit films where he dresses up in a girdle and explodes stereotypes faster than Flava Flav can eat a chicken wing; however with "For Colored Girls," he leaves the sanctuary behind and brings audiences into a more realistic gritty world.
Otherwise known as, Lee Daniels swagga jacking.
(The Oscar award winning/Perry endorsed film Precious, opened exactly 1 year before this; coincidence?)
Based on the groundbreaking 70s play "For Colored Girls who Considered Suicide when the Rainbow was Enuf," Perry's film version maintains the original poetry of poet Ntozake Shange's play, however at times, the poetry fails to mix with the less than cohesive dialogue's of Perry's characters.
In the theatre, you feel as if you are sitting in a Broadway play until you are awkwardly and abruptly yanked back to a Hollywood Soap Opera; the poetic stage play and the Hollywood film battle and sex each other at the same time.

"For Colored Girls" could have easily been called "When the Rainbow was Enuf" because I didn't see how the pigmentation of the women in the film, had anything to do with their struggles, not to mention the awkwardness of modern women referring to themselves as "colored." The play came out in the 70s, I was born in the 80s so I'm not sure what black people were called then, but in 2010, it sure aint colored. Perry probably missed loads of moviegoers just by the title since white women may have felt anxious about asking for a ticket to "For Colored Girls." The human drama of the movie was enough and the title misrepresents what it really is, a film about women's struggles, the characters just happen to be black. With a few race related Shange poetry lines thrown in there, one wonders if the films setting should have been decades earlier.

A high yellow Thandie Newton recites, "Being colored is a metaphysical condition, I haven't conquered yet."

Honey, if your BARELY COLORED ass aint conquered being colored in 2010 then you done missed the decade in the world when we chanted, "Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud!"
Seemed a bit ridiculous.

**The film's setting is current as "Rihanna" is mentioned.

THE PERFORMANCE'S

MS. JACKSON! AND HER MAN IS NASTY!!!
Tyler Perry just couldn't resist a topic that hits home for him, men on the down-low. As if his shopping buddy, Oprah, didn't wear the topic out enough, Perry is bombarding us with a sexy stock broker who just can't keep his penis out of male mouths while his magazine editor wife eats alone.
Janet is a great actress, unlike Beyonce, she belongs in movies, she has natural talent. However, Perry failed the bitch once again with his off-putting script and soap opera composition.
When a woman finds out she is HIV positive from her cheating gay husband, a bitch don't want to break out in a mundane irrelevant poem while sitting on the edge of her bed with a full face of flawless makeup, not one hair out of place. The poem clearly wasn't written about HIV or down-low men in the first place and having Jackson say, "You can take your HIV with you," in the end just seemed comical, especially since he can't take ALL of the HIV with him, the damage was already done. The plot felt forced and unnecessary considering the fact that there's rape, child murder, abortion and venereal disease also in the film.
Janet's presence felt more like a COVERGIRL commercial from Hell rather than a movie role. Diva worshipping Perry just couldn't resist making his favorite girl a DEVIL IN PRADA. (this is Jackson's third Tyler Perry film)
While the other women cried their eyes out with mucus running out of their nostrils, Janet's tears rhythmically rolled down her MAC face, somehow not being mixed with her mascara as the light perfected her profile.
Her delivery was spot on, but her positioning was boring, her eyes acted but her face sold makeup.

Kimberley Elise however, didn't even wear any make up as she played Jackson's personal assistant. Her crazy ass veteran husband beat her up and murdered her kids. Elise has to be THE MOST TALENTED ACTRESS IN HOLLYWOOD. Somehow she has managed to slip out of THE OSCARS radar, lets hope she gets noticed this time. You need only to look into her eyes and feel the pain of her character. Elise OWNED this film and if anyone should get an Oscar, she deserves it. Unlike Halle Berry

Lorreta Devine can be considered the comic relief of the film as she is a nurse and sex clinic worker. She counsels women about relationships and sex, yet she needs a miracle to bring her man home to her at night. Her story is the least dramatic of them all but Ms. Devine can recite a poem! At times I felt like I was at church and wanted to get up out of my seat and shout! That woman can act!

Anika Noni Rose was ELECTRIC. She plays a dance instructor, worldly and sexy. It's implied that she likes to play HARD TO GET (dick tease) No woman deserves rape, in no situation but she's a trusting woman, living behind rose colored glasses but she learns her lesson.
SIDENOTE: Perry did a fantastic job of capturing the food burning on the stove as Rose was raped.

Rose's path in Hollywood should no doubt lead her to the Oscar stage, along with Kimberly Elise, she needs to pick out her Oscar gown.

Thandie Newton and Whoopie Goldberg played mother and daughter and they had a great chemistry. Thandie played a slut and Whoopie played a crazy cult member and the dynamic between them was sitcom worthy.

Phyliscia Rashad's return to the big screen was a job well done. Her maternal quality made you want to lay your own head upon her bossom. It was funny hearing the perfect Cosby wife elude to a falatio.

Keri Washington, the outsider of the film was wife to the only good man in the movie, the sexy Hill Harper who played a cop. Washington couldn't get pregnant because of some STD, but her drama was rushed and irrelevant to the entire film. Her existence as a social worker was much more powerful, I didn't really care about her private life or her diseased vagina.


THIS FILM GETS 4/5 ERECT DICKS.

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