Monday, October 13, 2014


There is something about a man in power, or even on the road to power that drives me wild. Couple that with good looks and you've got yourself a perfect man. When you think of a male politician, a gargoyle with hairy earlobes may come to mind, but here are some sexy exceptions. My God, how could you not vote for these guys? Who cares what their positions are when they look like this! In fact, they'll be put in all kinds of positions if they ring my doorbell campaigning.
Congressman Aaron Schock
Congressman Cock

Aaron Cock is a republican United States Representative for Illinois's 18th Congressional District. Serving since 2009, wait a minute, did I say Aaron Cock? Sorry, I meant Aaron Schock, It's just that cock is a more befitting last name considering that's what I think of when I look at him. I don't know how to pronounce that last name anyway, but COCK I can pronounce. I don't live anywhere near Illinois and I don't follow politics closely, but it's HARD to keep such a fine politician from under my radar.

To think that Congress can possess abs like this, to think a United States Representative, can represent his state with such sexiness on a magazine cover....

He is by far, the sexiest congressman in the history of democracy. That boyish charm, those ripping muscles, his arresting smile, he would be a gay mans dream if he weren't republican!  
However you don't see a lot of "republicans" in white pants and pastel colored belts.....


Chris Bosh is like forget Jason Collins, who is this delicious looking white chocolate Easter bunny?!

Nothing like a congressional surfer! When we get back to the hotel, fill the tub up halfway
OK, so I've spent enough time on Aaron, but he's just so irresistible. Wait, he wants to give us just one more pose. Showing off those hairy armpits
Governor Martin O'Malley
Governor O'Hunky

As a Maryland native, let me just say that Martin O'Malley represents us well! With those huge biceps and guitar in hand, he will be missed by me when his term is over in a few months. He may be 51 years old, but this Maryland governor is one Irish STUD! You can raise my taxes as long as you raise my legs over my head! You're a democrat and while you were my governor, gay marriage was legalized in my state so I can't complain. Too bad I can't marry you.

 Not only are his looks delicious, but his down home personality makes him approachable. He did the Polar Bear Plunge shirtless....YES GAWD! A hunky wet shirtless governor is just what the horny doctor ordered! He also has a band and plays the guitar! There is nothing like a fit older man in power, just makes you want to go to the governors mansion and call him daddy!

How could you not vote for this daddy hunk for President? Rumor has it that he's running and I say we need to follow Obama's sexiness with MORE SEXINESS! He can address the nation shirtless!
Lieutenant Governor Anthony Brown
Up against my Brown Skin


Like Batman and Robin, they make one sexy dynamic duo! Maryland is lucky to have Martin O'Malley strutting his muscles around, but extremely blessed to have his Lieutenant Governor, Anthony Brown as well. Originally from New York state, he has graced Maryland with his seductive hazel eyes and endearing smile. His father is from Jamaica so there is a chance that he's got a LARGE constituency. He served in the military and he looks DAMN GOOD in that uniform.


Of course all good politicians have wives, we are waiting for the day when they have husbands, but I wont let a spouse interfere with my fantasy. They have to be aware of how sexy their powerful husbands are. With that being said, let's fantasize about the future governor of Maryland.
A good politician must present himself orally and must do it to the best of his ability. I appreciate how you cannot see any teeth while he orally presents his talking points.
President Barack Obama
 Most Powerful Dick in the World
When Obama first came on the scene I wanted to nibble on his ears and cover his body in coconut oil. He seemed so laid back, calm, cool and collected that it made me want to smoke a joint with him while his strong hands maneuvered their way around my body. I even got a chance to meet him and those hands are magically soft yet firm. I was caught up in the rapture of his handshake and then hypnotized as his other grabbed my left shoulder.

As I became used to seeing him and the first family, he became less of a sex symbol and more of a cute cousin you would have sex with if you found out you were adopted. You really can't fantasize too long about the father of the most beautiful daughters to ever live in the White House. He's a family man and stand up guy. That doesn't mean that I still don't think about him massaging my naked body on a Hawaiian beach.

When I saw a clip of Obama singing Al Green, I melted. The man has a smooth, sensual voice that wasn't hard on the ears. He could serenade fireside all night, I bet he romances Michelle with sweet talk and Barry White records. I just want him to lay his presidential hands all over my male anatomy. There are rumors of Obama being gay. There are stories from a desperate ugly old queen who wishes he could do drugs and suck Obama's dick in the back of a limo. I will say this, if he were gay and at bathhouses, there would be a lot more stories about him. He is just too fine to have only been connected to one old ugly queen.
Congressman Adam Kinzinger
Congressman Adam Dickslinger
Adam Daniel Kinzinger is the type of congressman whose entire name you have to say. He is just that sexy. There is no reason why this man should be so damn good looking. A U.S. Representative for Illinois 16th congressional district, he is of course a republican. I am an independent and the one thing that I can agree with republicans on is good sex. I am bipartisan if you look like Adam Kinzinger the dickslinger.
He's just so freaking adorable with that beautiful smile and boyish charm. I will say that he is not as good looking with his mouth closed, it's as if God intended for him to do a lot of smiling. In his late thirties, he looks no more than twenty five. I like the way he holds that black microphone.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

7 Ways to piss off other Black People

If you want to be excommunicated from the Black community, Black balled and dragged all over Black Twitter, here are some easy ways to make that happen.
Say you're not Black
"I don't believe in labels"
Raven-Symone's publicist needs to be placed on suicide watch. Did she not coach her client and tell her what not to say on television? Raven had come so far in her career. She'd escaped tabloid scandal and had been embraced by the Black community since she was three years old. Yet at twenty-eight years old, after a successful run on Cosby, That's so Raven and the Broadway musical Sister Act, she decided to sit with Oprah and exclaim that she is NOT African American.

"I am American, and that is colorless," said Raven to Oprah in a sit-down interview during a segment of "Where are they Now?" Where Raven is now, can be affectionately called, HELL.
Oprah gave her a chance to redeem herself, "Explain what you meant by that, because the internet is not going to let you live..." said Oprah, not verbatim but paraphrased. The ex role model and media darling dug her grave even deeper as she stated that her ROOTS are in Louisiana. She continued by saying that she does not know where in Africa her ancestors are from.
It's interesting, that Raven's SISTER ACT producer, Whoopi Goldberg said the same thing many years ago. Social media didn't exist then, so her career continued.
I was not offended by Raven, I understood her message that wasn't well articulated, but did give her the side-eye when she said she has an interesting nice grade of hair. I thought that contradicted her role in the film, "GOOD HAIR"
Raven at the red carpet premiere for "GOOD HAIR"
What the fuck does your hair texture have to do with being labeled? You are light skin, you don't want to be called African American and you mentioned your "good grade" of hair, YOU IN DANGER GIRL!
You know Black women aint going for that, especially the natural hair community!
Twitter unleashed on her. People called for a boycott, (as if she has anything to boycott?) arguments ensued on Facebook and every Negro across the nation held hands and sang, "WE SHALL OVERCOME!" Raven became the instant enemy. She denied herself, and denied us all. Self proclaimed internet scholars claimed she has identity issues, "What about her BLACKNESS?!" They typed in capital letters!
Receipt of Twitter DRAGGING her
You see, Black people take race issues very seriously. The mere mention of race gets their blood boiling. Mention "colorless" and they will hand you a mirror. They are consumed with skin color and entranced by labels. Labels which Whites gave them but that's another blog. If you have brown skin, you better say you are Black. If you are Tiger Woods, you must hate Black women if you choose to sleep with White Blonde women and claim you are MIXED and not Black. 
Tiger Woods clowned by Dave Chappelle and many others in the Black community
If your skin is Brown, you better be on television singing Negro spirituals and giving thanks to your African ancestors. You better label yourself either African American or Black. You are not allowed any wiggle room. Because saying you are beyond labels, that you are worldly, and even having the audacity to acknowledge other ethnicities flowing through your blood is blasphemy. Red Black and Green will ban you from all cookouts, fish fry's and BET award shows.
Apparently Raven Symone is racist, compared to Paula Dean
Raven is colorless alright, that's why she sat up there with purple roots and turquoise ends. She can reject labels all she wants to, but the Black community will call her a coon and a confused Black rich woman who thinks she is White because she achieved.  As for me, all I heard was that she doesn't know what country, what tribe her ancestors are from. As long as she spoke of her African roots, I was appeased, but then again, the Black community disowned me years ago.
Date White Women

Scandal, is a record breaking hit amongst Black women. Shonda Rimes, probably the most successful Black female television producer of all time, knew how to get Black women to watch. She had a Black woman fuck White men.
Oh yes, it is acceptable in the Black community for a Black woman to ride all the White dick she wants to, it is in fact glorified as Black men are constantly dogged.
Yet when Black men choose to be exclusive to White women, Black women read them for filth and Black hypocritical men shake their heads at them to appease their Black sistas. These same Black men typically prefer their Black women in Blonde weaves, you know I'm telling the truth Vincent Herbert. (Blonde hair hat wearing Tamar Braxton's husband)
Tamar said in a confessional that husband Vince prefers her blonde, while she exhibited jealousy of his White trainer
If you are Taye Diggs, you better not date White women if you want be marketable to the "STELLAS" of the Black community. He's not helping any sistas get their groove back, and they HATE him for it. Tiger Woods isn't at the BET Awards nor is he speaking at Historically Black schools. I'm sure he wants to, but they won't invite him. He never said he doesn't have Black in him, he said he is mixed and wants to accept both of his ancestries. But Black people were not having that at all. The White women he parades around only infuriated Blacks even more.
My fellow Black men, this extends to gays as well. Michael Sam and many others were dragged by the Black gay community for dating White men. There wasn't any applause for their coming out from Black gays, they were too many dragging them for not shacking up with Tyrone. You better call Tyrone and leave Trevor alone!
Glorify Light Skin

Young Berg of Love and Hip Hop Hollywood said in a radio interview many years ago, that he only dates light skin chicks. Well, we haven't heard any music from him since. Now he is on VH1 parading around mixed and White women and the Black community is still salty.
Is anyone scolding Rihanna for only dating light skin men? I don't think so. She never said she was exclusive to light skin men but it is apparent.

If you are light skin, you need to hang your head in shame. Black people want you to understand that you are privileged because you are high yellow. Beyoncé can only get to where she is because she is light skin. India Airie lost all six Grammy's because she is dark and Alicia Keys is light. It is that simple. You dare not say in a public forum that you only date light skin. You cannot make it seem like light skin is preferable in any way. You can barely say that Beyoncé is beautiful without someone asking you why you didn't say the same thing about Lupita.
Lupita was glorified as the most beautiful Black woman to walk the face of the earth. Yes she is gorgeous, but it all seemed contrived. Black people enjoy uplifting a dark skin woman because by doing so, the Black race sees you as being pro Black. You cannot be pro Black and think that light skin is also beautiful. We are taught that light skin is evil. Light skin people are advantaged, and it goes all the way back to slavery. We have this uneducated assumption that light skin slaves were in the home, folding napkins and smoking cigars with the slave master. There were dark skin house slaves as well, that is only a myth.

When Beyoncé appeared in a Loreal ad campaign looking airbrushed and Caucasian, Black people dragged the hair company for filth. In fact, bright lights are incapable of making someone's skin look lighter. There are no such thing as undertones in a person's skin, Beyoncé does not have Creole heritage and it is the mission of Hollywood to turn every Black celebrity into Britney Spears.

So enough sarcasm, I agree that white washing does occur and it seems that celebrities do get lighter as they get more successful, (Michael Jackson is the poster child) but it seems that Blackness in the Black community equates to kinky hair and dark skin.
In fact, most of the African indigenous populations consist of light skin people of color. Your ancestors are from Africa, but they may not have been dark skin at all. African does not mean black as a chalkboard all of the time. It doesn't always mean kinky hair either. (Ethiopia, Morocco, I could go on)




If you are a light skin celebrity like Vanessa Williams, be prepared to answer questions about your privilege, and if you are Lupita, be ready to go on a speaking tour about the problems of your dark skin. Your beauty crown means nothing to the Black community, because you are light skin. They figure, oh she has light eyes and skin the color of sand so she doesn't count, congrats to Kenya Moore! And we will blame your eyes and butter toned skin for the darker version of you that wasn't able to climb as high.

Colorism in the Black community seems to get worse each decade, especially now with the internet and things like Instagram. Just know, pissing other Blacks off is simpler when you are light skin. After all, every less successful dark skin chick who is around you is being hindered by you. She's in her feelings and airing out her dirty laundry.

Be a Republican


Stacey Dash was able to be Black for much of her career, even as a valley girl who hung out with the likes of a rich white Alicia Silverstone in Clueless. Everything was going well for her, she got to star in a Kanye West video, she was a sex symbol for Black men and got to star in a Black television series called "Single Ladies". One day she decided that she was not going to vote for Obama and didn't care who knew about it. She had the audacity to support Romney and proclaim that she had become a republican. In America, if you are Black, you are not allowed to be a republican in the modern era. You are not allowed to support a White candidate, much less a republican if there is a perfectly healthy Black democrat on the ballot.

Oh she is a sell out, they said. She is a coon, they exclaimed. She was dragged, she was disowned by her people and she is now the most hated Black woman in America by Black people. FOX loves her of course. Checks are still rolling in as she delivers her Constitutional right to express her viewpoints in front of a live audience. But fuck the constitution, fuck a democracy, fuck having your own mind when your skin is brown. You need to understand the rules of Black Club. Black people are homogenous, we think alike, we always vote for the same party because it is our obligation. Deviate from the rules of Black Club and you will be hunted down and slapped by Pam Grier.

Vivica aint having no fellow Black actresses vote Republican either
You cannot love your heritage and vote republican at the same time, even if Obama hasn't facilitated much change for the Black community. Regardless of his initial lack luster response to Katrina and overall fucked up Presidency, George W. Bush was involved in more work that benefited the Black community than Obama has. (RESEARCH IT)
  • Appointed the first two African American (I don't believe in labels lol) secretaries of state in the nations history; Appointed more Blacks to cabinet posts than Clinton and Obama.
  • Increased funding to historically Black colleges and universities by 30% from 2001-2005 spending $371 million
  • Spent $200 million so that 40,000 low-income families will have help purchasing their first home
  • First president to approve funding for a national historic Black museum
  • Approved funding for Rosa Parks memorial
  • Signed voting rights act extension without amendments, July 2006 and May 2002
  • President's Emergency Plan for AIDS relief (PEPFAR) starting 2003, increased the number of Africans receiving antiretroviral drugs to nearly 2 MILLION by the time he left office.
  • Obama proposed a cut of nearly 12% in PEPFAR funding...

I voted for Obama, I expected change, the sun didn't rise. I am not a republican, never voted for one, but what I will say is that people regardless of their skin color should have a right to a political opinion.
If you are Black and are on FOX News, but you are not cussing someone out, then you are the enemy.

 You are an uncle Tom. Fuck Fox News, their network is complete bullshit and most of them just do not understand the Black struggle. I do agree with that. While it is a storage facility for cooning Uncle Toms, I do think that someone has the right to be Black, a republican and work for Fox just like a White person has that right. Otherwise, how are we any better to deny a Black person a check and means to feed their family? We can disagree, sure, but acting as if we should all be on MSNBC is a bit unrealistic. I disagree with Stacey Dash because of my ideology. I disagree with Bill O'Reilley because of my ideology. But I do think they have the right to be there.
Deny Jesus
As the son of two preachers, I was introduced to White Jesus at a very young age. I gave my life to Christ as a little boy who felt like it was my duty. Jesus was my initiation into Blackness, as the tambourines were banged and sista Myrtle caught the spirit on the front row.

The Black church reared me to never stray from the Lord and enjoy the bake sale after service.
As I got older, some say rebellious, I read about my ancestors. The names that were changed, the tribes in chains, the spirituality traded for the White mans Bible. I began to embrace my African roots, the polytheistic view and the illustrations of deities who look like myself.

My spirituality began a journey to where it is today, some where in the agnostic point of view. I simply do not have any answers and I am open to suggestion, but I am not committed to religion. Black people take issue with this. Black men will not date me because of this. If you are Black, then your ass needs to be in the church reciting scripture that was translated by the White power structure in the Vatican. You need to worship a copycat of the many African and east Asian deities, a bootleg imitation called Jesus. The only pre-approved religion is Islam. You can sell a bean pie or two, but you better not come up in here saying you're not religious at all.

You better be apart of the religion that divided Africa, enslaved Africa, conformed African Americans. You see, Black people do not understand that loving Jesus is sleeping with the enemy. That is blasphemy. They take their Christianity seriously, as they should, it is their faith, but most dismiss it's history and demean other Blacks who reject it. No, you are Black, so you come on and fellowship with us, put your money in the offering plate and help out the bank account of T.D. Jakes.

On every Black reality show, Jesus has to make his grand entrance. Have you ever seen a Black show where the characters were not Christian? Phaedra Parks has a prayer cloth but she represents a man who can suck his own dick at parties. She walks around in a thong yet she loves the Lord.

Beyonce knows that Black people wont support her if she admits her occultist associations. So she continues her "so blessed" commentary, appears in Michelle Williams, "Say Yes" video and wears her Baphomet ring to her concert while gyrating on a chair.


Tyler Perry got rich off of Jesus. Black church buses wouldn't leave the church parking lot if Madea was a Black Jew. And as for you, your Blackness membership card comes with an obligation to promote Jesus every chance you get. Attend church at least a couple of Sunday's out of the year and make sure look sexy at church. If you do not support the birthplace of the civil rights movement, the sanctuary, then you are the enemy.

Rev. Jamal Bryant of Empowerment Temple of Baltimore MD, slams gays

Service starts at 11 a.m., where Pastor Jamal Bryant will be reading from the book of GAYS ARE EVIL, Chapter 6 verse 66. As a gay Black male, you will have your own reserved seat, located in the choir loft. If you choose to have a more dynamic role, we ask that you deny your sexuality in public in order for you to be named Pastor. Which brings me to my next point....
Support Gay Rights
Compare it to Civil Rights

Did you think Black people were going to allow you to think you are equal? You must have bumped  your head. You surely won't be getting married here, not up at Christ Redeemer of the First Tabernacle Baptist Church for All People. Not up in here! Kim Kardashian can get remarried here before you can honey. Grab that tambourine and sing His praises while the pastor tells you how demonic you are.
You cannot be a Black pastor and stand for gay rights and expect for the church mothers to return next Sunday. Oh no, your job is to stand in that pulpit and compare gays to prostitutes and drug dealers. (Jamal Bryant)

The worst thing you as a homosexual can do is compare the gay equality movement to the civil rights movement. Blacks inform you that the public bus has open seating and then call you everything but a child of God. Even though a young man was nearly beaten to death at Morehouse College for being gay, you are delusional to think gays are not treated fairly in this country.

Regardless of the fact that it is perfectly legal in many states to deny employment based on sexual orientation, your struggle bares no comparison. So shut your mouth, come on down to conversion camp led by Pastor Eddie Long. He will make sure he fucks all the gay away.

Black people hate gays more than they hate racists. They accept heterosexual whores before homosexual families. A pastor can literally cheat on his wife and discuss the sanctity of marriage being ruined by those evil homosexuals. So come on now, you can't support gay rights, you can't be gay and love Jesus at the same time, even if Jesus had documented orgies with His disciples.
Everyone in the congregation has contributed to a Black drag queen becoming a millionaire, but they don't dare support gay rights.

When pastor offers testimonies, go up to the front, grab the mic and exclaim that you are gay and thank God for bringing you a soul mate.
The pastor will smile, come up to you and say lovingly,
Blame Blacks for their Circumstances
Hold them Accountable


 “I can’t even talk the way these people talk,” legendary comedian Bill Cosby said. “Why you ain’t, where you is, who you be…Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads…You will never get any kind of job making a decent living,” he added.

Black people didn't like that at all, he was labeled a coon and Uncle Tom of course by the Black masses with their predictable reactions.
And he was not finished...
"People used to be ashamed” of having children with multiple men, Cosby continued, "but today a woman has eight children with eight different ‘husbands’ or men, whatever you call them now."

This is where it got REAL,

What part of Africa did this come from? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don’t know a thing about Africa. With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail. 
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem. We have got to take the neighborhood back. We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can’t write two paragraphs. We as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard. 


Holding each other to a higher standard is frowned upon in the Black community. Want to piss them off? Call them out on their shit. Don't blame the evil White government for the plight of urban Blacks, instead, recommend they make some changes that may help their situation. You know, because being a successful Black man who made a way out of no way in the midst of racism is not allowed to give a harsh critique of his people.
Enter Don Lemon,
"Some are saying Bieber is racist,” Lemon said. “Is he? I don’t know. But I do know that this is the danger of the proliferation of the use of the n-word.” He said people hear the word in music and on the street to the point where “subliminally they become immune.” And he recalled times he has heard it recently in public, from and about people of all ethnicities.


“Clearly Justin Bieber, a young man who by the way, has immersed himself in black, hip hop culture should not be saying the n-word,” Lemon concluded. “So the question is, if you want people like Justin Bieber to stop using it and to stop making excuses for using it, shouldn’t you do the same?”

You would have thought Don Lemon congratulated Bieber for using the N word. It was as if Lemon attended a KKK rally where they wore white after Labor Day. Black people shunned him as expected. Justin, a notorious lover of Hip Hop, clearly listens to music with the N word in it. He said NIGGA, not the other version, though he shouldn't be using EITHER, lets be clear that he used the "HIP HOP" version of the word. So why is it inappropriate to question the music which a lot of White kids buy that promotes such language? Because you are placing some blame on other Black people, and Blacks can do no wrong.

That being said, Fuck Justin Bieber!

It doesn't matter if Black people are murdering each other at alarming rates in the south side of Chicago, questioning Blacks themselves for this behavior is taboo. The appeasing response would be to blame the White institution for neglecting Black youth causing them to turn to crime for survival. Blame Whites for slavery, breaking up the Black family and causing Black youth to turn to gangs for a sense of family. Of course this is all true, yet I have a feeling that some where in that story is a Black person who made a wrong decision, I could be wrong.

If you want your people to hate you, go ahead, take a stand against someone getting their head blown off. If you want to appease them, go to the funerals, cry about the deaths, but make sure you don't snitch. SNITCHING is the number one cause of death in the Black community.  We don't need more Black people in prison, even if they murdered. Piss the fuck out of your brothas and sistas and claim that Black on Black crime is the real problem in our community. Just make sure you say it after a national tragedy like Michael Brown or Trayvon Martin. Trust me, I am Black and actually, that pisses me off! The news doesn't show Black people marching against Black on Black crime. However, if you want to piss other Black people off, go right ahead, just don't tell them I sent you. Don't be a snitch.