Saturday, December 22, 2012




Holding your fingers in my palm

Your eyes never look into mine.

You aint thinkin' about me

but I can't get you out of my mind.


Last night we made love

Kissing with eyes closed.

But the sun rose on emptiness

I'm not the one you chose.


His photography

decorates your walls

You jump out of bed

The second he calls


Why am I here?

Shedding a tear

When I'm just a job

No where near a career.


I scream your full name

Love you never exclaim

But my delusions

Believe that sex is the same.

I've been here before

Self appointed whore

Reading too much

into lust and war.


We've made it this far

Dating others

who we hurt

I tried to play it cool

But you took off your shirt


Now I'm down on your rugs

No pillow talk in the bed

I'm strung out on drugs

Hallucinogenic newly wed


And in darkness of motels

Sometimes in your room

Drunk from the cocktails

Arousing adrenaline turns to gloom

I deserve so much more than this

Leaning over my body

Like I'm what's next on the list


Between love and lust

there's an eighty foot fence

I feel I can jump it

God please grant me common sense,

To leave this behind

Find something that's mine

I'm tired of fraudulent feelings

arresting me like a crime.

Love isn’t in store
I’ve been here before
Reading too much…
Lust and War.

-Isayaah Parker


Saturday, December 8, 2012

WHITE IS RIGHT: Real Housewives of Atlanta

Obama will be sworn in for his second term in a few weeks and Black people are finally more than butlers and maids in movies and TV shows, but it doesn't mean we aren't still exploited.
Andy Cohen's Bravo channel has done a lot for the careers of Black people as well as gays. But what I find fascinating is the need for the Real Houswives franchise to be segregated. Now that Kim Zolciak is gone from Real Houswives of Atlanta, that show is "the black one" and the 5 million other housewives shows are white, or "NORMAL" I say normal because ever since I can remember, I'd go to the toy stores and what did I see? White Barbies and White action figures on FULL DISPLAY in the front;
But behind them or somewhere on the bottom shelf, hidden from view was the dusty black versions. Toys are often segregated by race and kids are indoctrinated into the notion that the white doll is the normal doll but more than that, THE PRETTY DOLL. This hasn't ended. Nicki Minaj is touring the world promoting her WHITE IS RIGHT agenda. Calling her fans "Barbz" and making herself look as white as possible. Oh come on Barbz, stop being delusional, have you ever seen a BLACK Barbie at the store with blonde hair, blue eyes and hanging out with Ken?
Yes her "Ken dolls" are supposedly her male fans. The real white barbies of Beverly Hills and the real white barbies of New Jersey are the normal ones and the ghetto dusty black barbies reside in Atlanta and mostly black people watch them. In order for these real black barbies to get famous and get notoriety, what do they have to do? They have to subscribe to the Nicki Minaj strategy. They have to WHITE WASH THEMSELVES.
Nene Leakes said in one of her confessionals last season when referring to her white boyfriend, a friend of Donald Trumps, "White is right!" I'm not making this up, this is a real quote from her. Of course you noticed how Nene looks awfully different than what she looked like when she first came on the scene. Oh yes her nose has been slimmed down, her hair has become blonde and she hangs out with every rich white man she can find. Not to mention starring in White sitcoms as the token black bitch that everyone laughs at. Like a sideshow, like a circus. Yes, we are still segregated but we are doing it to ourselves. We are allowing for this, "White is RIGHT" mentality to fester in our communities and to explode on screen. What is also true is that for black people to get uber-successful (the term successful is subjective) they have to white wash or be clowns. For instance, black women tend to have to be ghetto but white looking like Tamar Braxton and black men have to be clowns like Eddie Murphy or Tyler Perry. (Dave Chappele discussed this in depth in interviews with Oprah & James Lipton) I don't understand why there can't be more diversity, why blacks and whites can't star in shows together without it being blatently obvious that the ONE black person was picked to meet a quota, or in the Real Housewives of ATL case, the ONE white bitch was picked to meet a quota. This is a society obsessed with segmentation. Look at all the tv channels for each group. Do Black people really only listen to Lil Wayne and Mary Mary? Or has this been force fed to them? I'm black and I don't care much for Jesus or gospel music yet Black entertainment television thinks that I do. I really don't care for booty shaking hoes, not because I'm gay, but because the music is a bit trite. Now you might say, Isayaah, what about The Cosby show? What about The Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Yes, there has been some positive images of blacks on tv where they didn't have to white wash or be clowns. But those examples are minimal compared to the onslaught of coonery going on. It's hard to be black and proud when all I see is black celebrities with caked on foundation that's five shades lighter than their ass. You may say that I am part of the problem, I do watch some of these shows and I do make video reviews of the Real Housewives, it's entertainment, I am not saying to boycott it. What I will do is address the issues and write the networks. Black people have so much to offer with all of their diversity, but Toys R Us only advertises Alicia Keys, and throws India Airie in the clearance aisle.

How to be SUCCESSFUL in life

Being a black agnostic never makes you popular, especially a preachers kid like me. But I stand tall in my beliefs of simply, "not knowing" and I ignore the critics. That being said, I don't believe in a red tailed, egotistical devil who lives underground and torments people for doing his dirty work in life. It seems to me that such a devil would reward his followers. Christianity just doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but you can find more of my thoughts on that in my earlier posts.
I've been trying to be famous for quite some time now. I guess it's the fact that I've always been invisible. Let's travel back to when I was in grade school; sitting in the back of the bus wondering why no one wants to sit next to me. I remember being a class clown but all anyone would do is laugh at me instead of really getting to know me. I've always wanted more attention, I've always wanted to be seen. Even in adult relationships I've been wondering why men see right through me. It's like I'm not even there, they treat me like a movie ticket, using me to get into a show, and disposing of me after. I've always wanted to inspire people, to tell stories, to perform, but getting famous like I want has proven to be a little more difficult than I thought. Yes I can audition for American Idol like I did in 2004 and get 15 minutes of fame, but its fleeting. During that time, I was exposed to a lot of celebrities and a lot of bullshit. I had men in suits following me and telling me who I could become. I had people trying to influence me, I saw shady people and shady things. I had a sense that I could join the club if I subscribed to certain things. The fact is, they will control you and the ones who can't be controlled, they want nothing to do with. Think about how easy it is for fame and fortune to be taken away from you. Toni Braxton for instance. This doesn't take away from my hustle, I still believe in myself and I WILL achieve my dreams whether in this lifetime or the next. The video above is a parody of what it seems like people have to do in life to be successful. Whether it's being a Broadway performer or a successful business person like Donald Trump, you're going to have to lose a large part of yourself if you want to play with the big boys. What the conspiracy theorists call it is
"selling your soul" to Lucifer to join the Illuminati but I don't think it's quite that Biblical. In all facets of life, we have to compromise and do things we don't want to get what we want. But the question is, what are you willing to compromise? Are you willing to compromise your morals?
If no one shows up to my one man show then that is fine, at least I am trying, at least I am performing. I'm starting to realize that it's not about the fame and glory, but more about the expression. More about doing something that I love to do for no reward. In life, we are constantly bombarded with notions that we need validation in everything that we do. In grade school, we don't learn just to learn, we try and do a good job so that the teacher can REWARD us with a gold star sticker. I used to be so happy when I got that sticker and so angry when I didn't.
I guess what I'm saying is, it's not about the gold star in life, it's about learning. It's about the profound things that happen when no one is looking. You ever feel like you are at your best when you are alone? Say when you are in the bathroom in the morning, ever feel really confident while singing and dancing in the shower? That's because there is no one there to judge you. You are completely YOU with no compromise or apologies. That's how we should all be out in the public arena. You don't sing in the shower to get a Grammy, you sing because it's silly and fun.
So before you sell yourself to a non-existent Lucifer, ask yourself, "Do I need validation?"