Thursday, October 2, 2014

6 Young Male Celebs You Secretly Want to Fuck

Nick Jonas
Strummin' my Pain

I can't name one song from the Jonas Brothers, I don't even know what he sounds like when he talks, But I've always known one thing, THIS MOTHAFUCKA IS HOT!
Most people have made jokes about his recent Marky Mark esque sexy pics where he grabs his Calvin Klein crotch with jeans around his knees. You joke and shake your head, but honey, yall are just like me, waiting to get off work so you can lube up!

Many of us remember him as a curly haired minor with his corny brothers, so we feel guilty about licking our lips at his beautifully tan body. But now, he's twenty-two and FINE!!!! His sweaty body on stage and the cockiness in his swag makes you imagine him handcuffed to your bed. You envision him being a romantic, you are confident that those fingers which expertly manipulate instruments, could stimulate your...He's the type to make love by candlelight. He's the type who you call ADORABLE around your girlfriends but daddy in the privacy of your bedroom fantasies.

Cougars, he's the young man from down the street who cuts your grass and you invite him in for a glass of water. Surprisingly, he does things to you that your ex husband never could and you quickly forget that you're twice his age. And gays, he is the Houseboy who drives you and your partner wild!
Is it those succulent lips that look like they will gently caress your lips down below?
Or is it those silver dollar brown nipples that must taste like Hersheys chocolate?
For me it's also that happy trail of wispy hair that compliments that defined v-cut. Not to be upstaged by those bedroom eyes that have you fantasizing about him naked, as he strums his guitar and serenades you with lullabies. Maybe he can tie your hands together with his sweaty tank top.
And to my GAY TOPS,
There's THIS to behold...

He's got your Big Willy Style jumping!

But you won't admit it, you'll force a sarcastic joke, you'll type SMH in the comments, but you know good and well that when this photo appeared on your Facebook feed, you stood on brick.
That tight firm ass needs to be parted like the Red Sea and my staff....
I digress.
Ladies, you hope Miley Cyrus didn't leave a virus in him but you want him to leave a baby in you. You wonder how crazy it would be for a forty year old woman to attend one of his concerts and try to get backstage.
I've got a jones for Jonas, and I don't care who knows.


Dig into Me

Please stop smiling young man, no, do not bat your eyes like that....How old are you? You're making me feel like Stella and I never asked to get my groove back! You were just out of diapers when that movie came out so I don't want to upset the Reverend. But good God, the boyish charm looks good on an adult body with chiseled abs. Those bedroom eyes have me feeling guilty, because I know you still have Batman sheets. You're nineteen and you're making grown people feel obscene.
What makes Diggy so irresistible? It's  that prettyboy swag, that juicy bottom lip and those romantic big brown eyes that seem like they'd pay attention to every expression of pleasure on your face. He's the type to fuck with the lights on, to make sure he does it right, to pay attention to your body and make sure his tongue is going in the right places. He's the type to give you a coconut oil massage while whispering hood shit into your ear. You've seen his shirtless pics, but only until recently have you been allowed to stare longer. Boys are men now. You slip your hand down your dress, into your pants, into your pussy, into your ass, onto your dick, into your mouth, wondering what bad things that good boy can do to you.
His body is a warm ocean of smooth,
         Silky caramel
                   and you want to ride it
                               With your surfboard.

Diggy Simmons, don't run and tell dad 
That I want to bobsled on your dick like Cool Runnings.

Wait are those bumps on his dick? Don't mean to ruin the mood

Shake your Spear

The best person for Diggy to tag team your ass or pussy with is ROMEO, and I hear there's nothing 'lil about him.
Though he is twenty five at the time of this blog, I had no idea he was so old. I'm not too much older than him but I somehow remember a little scrawny boy rapping. The son of Master P grew up to be downright sexy. Caramel and muscular just like Diggy, you imagine these boy toys kissing your body in unison. Their full juicy succulent lips and rapper hands simultaneously touching your nervous body. You keep forgetting that they are legal but you soon forget your first name as Romeo's thick brown dick hits the top of your tongue. Oh Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?! I will die if I can't have you. Fuck me on your basketball court, cover me in whip cream and lick it off, then SHAKE YOUR SPEAR in my ass Romeo!!!!

What is it about Romeo that makes you want to stick your breasts in his mouth? For starters, his name. There's something about the name Romeo, which is why Shakespeare used it in a romance play. You better not grow up to be ugly with a name like Romeo, you'll be bullied for life. The name fits him. You want to kiss him passionately and you get the feeling that talking dirty is his expertise.

Ohhh Romeo, hands behind your head. I'll take care of it

You want him to spit sixteen bars into your pussy, let your clitoris give him a standing ovation.
For my gays, you want him to literally spit in you, prison style, but somehow manage to make love to you simultaneously. You want to grab his bubble butt while he pumps it in from the front. You imagine that he likes to light it up while riding you. Good God, you can't get enough of Romeo, my, my, my how he has grown to five foot, eleven inches and you hope he's got the package to match.

And that's the face Romeo makes while you are sucking his big, thick, heavy, hard DICK

Ryan Sheckler
Skater Boy Toy

OOOH Ryan, you are a Capricorn like I am. There's something about a hot White skater boy. I admit, I know nothing about skateboarding or your competitions, but I do know how hot you looked on MTV. There is something about those big blue eyes and that engaging bright smile that makes a girl want to bring you home to her parents. (Until you realize they won't understand how someone can be a professional skateboarder). Ryan I will be your skateboard, fuck a surfboard, I'll do flips for you and ride you into the most exotic places.

 You're the type of guy to fuck a girl at a bonfire and make her holler like a choir. As for me, I'm not a girl, but I would dress up for you. Hell yea, I'll go all Britney Spears on that dick and scream out oh BABY BABY! I bet you don't shave down there, you're one of those all natural skater boys with armpits like a lions mane and an Amazon jungle dick. I don't mind, in fact, I prefer it. I'll take pleasure in shampooing your pubes and watching you play video games in the nude.

Ryan, I would lick the sweat from your armpits. Now lay back and let me enjoy your hard board. I want to taste those pink lips against my mouth and then you can put them anywhere you'd like. I'll gently run my fingers through that amazing full head of blonde hair while I stare into those big light eyes, immersed in love. Now stop being lovey dovey and tea bag me while you stand on the railing.
He's the high school crush that you drooled over from the other side of the cafeteria. He's with his bros, caps turned backwards and sitting on top of the table, never in a chair. You always see him in slow motion, turning toward you and smiling. You're all giddy until you realize he's smiling at that bitch behind you, Marsha, who gets whoever and whatever she wants. Then you remember, you don't even have a vagina, so you don't stand a chance, even if it weren't against Marsha. Ladies, you know you'd have him over your place to paint your spare bedroom. You make sure to turn the air conditioning off so he decides to paint shirtless. He gets paint all over that tan lean body, you offer to clean it off with your hot wet washcloth. You roll around on the floor with him, covered in wet paint, sliding all over his young hard body. 

Wear that diamond chain while you fuck me from the back. I want to hear it slapping against your tatted up chest. Don't worry, you can still play even though the streetlights came on.

Cameron Monaghan
Shamelessly Sexy

Shameless has to be one of my favorite shows of all time, not only because of the ridiculous Gallagher drama, but also because of the mind altering sexiness of Cameron Monaghan. He is one hot ginger. He's grown before our eyes, from a freckled face kid to a tall, hot ginger. Sort of like a male Lindsey Lohan, lol. There's an added bonus when he bares his naked ass in Shameless during gay sex scenes. I must say that he looks exactly like Gabriel Basso from The Big C, and he's hot too.

Tight white smooth muscle ass. Imagine getting fucked like this after school (He's of age in this photo)

Cameron, I want to see your red pubes so bad, I would spend the night in them. The way you fuck those men in Shameless has me reaching for my Vaseline. (The writers of the show are NOT RIGHT!)
In every film I've seen him in, he gets shirtless at some point, and my God, is it a sight to behold. He looks like he would take control. He's the kind of guy who rapes and robs you in a back alley, but you are too aroused to fight back. He bites the back of your neck, pulls your hair and fucks you hard against the wall.

You can't believe that the freckled face child actor became such a stud. It feels weird that all these kids have grown up, turned into sex symbols and all you can do is jack your dick in shame. You envision your hands caressing Cameron's tight muscle ass, pouring hot wax on it and watching him squirm. Kiss his ass, go ahead, but soon he flips over and forces you to the ground. Soon his THICK dick is slamming your ass while his military dog tag beats against his chest. He uses his spit as lube. Grab your tissues. 

You want to go skinny dipping with him, play it off as innocent fun until he lays lakeside to sun bathe. Look at his wet hair against his forehead, his six pack glistening in the sun, no, you can't resist. You straddle him, kiss his small pink lips as he thrusts his dick into your pussy, into your ass...Gay man or straight woman, you want this young stud, all of him. Inside of you, on top of you, underneath you...Swallow him whole. 

This twenty one year old with hair of gold is a SEX GOD. You say to your friends, "My has he grown into a handsome young man!" But when you get home and the doors are closed, you imagine him growing harder inside of you. He's not only handsome, but he's a HUNK. You want him to ravage you. Pleasure yourself.
His transition was uncanny, from an awkward nerdy looking kid, to a full grown wood chopping man. Do you feel old? Well maybe he can make you feel forever twenty one. With his tongue.... My God, the innocence in his eyes makes you feel bad about staring at his lips, but hey, he's an adult. An adult whose done more than enough sex scenes on cable. Gay men, you know good and well you use that Wet lube when you watch his gay sex scenes. You wanted to be that store owner getting fucked in the storage room. It turned you on even more that his father walked in on it. Again, the writers are so wrong, but sooo right! Cam, take me; Take all of me!

Oh What the Hell, Why not?

I can't stand Justin Bieber, he's an asshole, a prick and he looks like a buff lesbian. But when you put a trash bag over his head, he's got a really nice body. Quiet as it's kept, you agree with me. If he came over, took his shirt off and revealed that chiseled tatted up body, you would get undressed too. Something confusing runs through you when you see his shirtless pics, you hate his personality but there's something about his cockiness and you know you cant resist that body. 

He's the guiltiest pleasure, because he looks like he's twelve, thus why the trash bag is needed. The happy trail gives hint of some type of puberty and you are so darn curious about his vagina........You would eat that pussy out. Oh wait, you think he has a dick? Well you're curious about his dick but you anticipate it being small with big balls. You anticipate him being clean shaven, EVERYWHERE. The fact that he is liable to call you a bitch and ask you if you're a "Belieber" during sex kind of turns you on in a kinky way. You've told no one about these fantasies, as they could get you excommunicated from modern society. 

He's such a poser, an immature spoiled Canadian cunt 
That needs to get gang-banged by Black dick. Usher, start it off

I admit, the pic above turns me on, the thought of Usher plowing that lesbian pussy turns me on, but then I remember, Usher is a bottom.....
And apparently, so is Justin. LOOK AT THAT PHATTY!

He better be glad he didn't get jail time for his DUI


  1. Awesome article. I LMAO but it's simply an awesome article! Fuckin' eh!

  2. Yes, I really enjoyed this post and as far as I'm concerned you hit the nail on the head. I always have thought these guys are sexy as f!! Only one I wasn't familiar with is the guy from the Shameless series.
    Thanks for sharing.