Tuesday, May 7, 2013


He's the dirt under my fingernails

Nothing left of us...

But filth.

I put in work

And all I have to show for it

Is a Hallmark card 

signed sincerely, 

instead of love. 

He's the "FUCK"

He's the "HATE"

The cursing in the truck

The refusal to compromise

Years worth of lies. 

He's a heart racing

When he appears there...

My captivated attention

While he gives me a blank stare.

A slut in disguise

In white Hanes underwear.

He's the cute voicemail

I can't seem to delete,

It's been several weeks

But the thought him

Still makes me weak. 

He's humiliation

in front of friends

A phony for the camera lens...


I thought I'd get 

When I moved on...

But I miss his quick wit.

Miss how his nose folds

When he smiles...

Yet I remember

Crying on bathroom floor tiles,

Indifference in the other room.

He was a miracle 

But also a miserable 


The touch felt real

But words performed like alibi's.

Only one hit of him

Got me high

But he was a drug

so feelings weren't legitimized. 

He's the only one 

who made me feel anything,

Whether love or hate

I couldn't get off his ride,

Just wish I'd noticed 

he wasn't tall enough to ride mine.

But he was big enough for some things,

and the man could wine and dine...

Hell I don't mind paying the fine

For his petty mind crimes...

Because for once in my life

I was effected on the inside. 

 He's the sweat stains on my tee shirt

The holes in my soles

A million miles of feelings

and I'm broke from all the tolls.

His kisses masked 

an apathetic mind

If I'd only noticed the grime

on his fraudulent road signs,

I wouldn't be here

Sulking over lost time. 

On second thought,

Dirt aint nothing

But shit needing to be cleaned

And I've got antibacterial soap

on my team.

I'll wash him away

One finger a day

Washing my hands of him.

Scrubbing and rubbing

until I'm ready for REAL lovin',

He can keep on

Cackling with his coven...

Because his dirt 

His hurt

His hall of mirrors tour

won't live here no more.

No more bullshit at my door!


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