The $655 Dollar Band-Aid

I had a great sleep last night. I was euphoric in a vivid dream. I ran across a green valley surrounded by butterflies; but I fell and scraped my knee. It hurt but a sexy man in a white coat arrived. He kissed it, rubbed alcohol on it and then dressed it with a Band-Aid. He looked into my eyes and said, "Don't worry, it's covered." Then I sarcastically responded, "I can see that it's covered, you put a band-aid on it!" He chuckled, "No silly, it's paid for. Don't worry, it only costed me 10 dollars for a box of band-aids and five dollars for this alcohol. We will take care of it. Use your hard earned money to buy a hot meal and soft toilet paper to wipe your rather impressive ass with." I smiled at him and he disappeared into the blades of grass. The pollen in the air didn't make me sneeze and I thought that was strange. But then I heard the loud beeping of the alarm clock and cars honking. Fuck, it was a dream.


The waking world doesn't seem to make as much sense as that dream. I awoke a college graduate, a published freelance writer and a blogger who is uninsured. 

What was left of my Toyota

A year ago I had a car accident and was not injured. The manipulative paramedics claimed that I could have had a concussion and urged me to go to the hospital. I refused at first, but they kept stroking my dick about going to the hospital. (not literally obviously)

All I had was a scraped knee. Uninsured. Yes, I know, STUPID COSTLY MISTAKE. The lethargic doctor came in and said I needed a band-aid. 

Today I received a notice from collections for $655.00.

DR. EVIL

 $655.00 IS ONE EXPENSIVE BAND-AID!!! 

As kids, we want to hurry up and grow chest hair or tits, but we don't realize that being an adult sucks for the most part. There's no one to kiss your wounds and there's no one to pay for those wounds. I miss the good ole days of my moms Blue Cross Blue Shield from the school system. She was a dedicated teacher and preacher. I took advantage of the days when getting sick meant that somebody would take care of me. The hospital will take care of you, but you may shoot yourself after you see the bill. Those of us who are uninsured and under-insured, are actually the majority of America, you know, the people Romney doesn't deem "American."

Movie Mogul Tyler Perry and I at an event

I've been a personal assistant, a caretaker, a hotel front desk agent, a houseman at a hotel, a human resources receptionist, a ticket booth agent at a theater, a staff writer for a newspaper, a bust boy, a waiter, a glorified whore, an intern at NBC 4 News Station, a television personality and a published writer; so I don't consider myself lazy. Times are hard these days for me, the artist. My new job is not offering health insurance YET, but it is perfect for me as I get to PERFORM, Something I always had a passion for. 

The numbers of uninsured and under-insured have no doubt increased in 2013

People can think what they want politically but what I can't seem to understand is what I am being charged for. If I went into a Barber Shop seeking a haircut, but I was bald headed with one strand of hair on my forehead, would they charge full price to use their fingers and yank the strand out? Would they even charge at all ? It wasn't a haircut after all, right? A Band-Aid was something I could have gotten from my bathroom cabinet. Did it cost $655 dollars to keep me waiting in an ice cold room for forty-five minutes, ask me personal questions which included, "Have you had suicidal thoughts?" and then secure a five dollar band-aid on my knee? Oh yea, I must'ave been suicidal to total my car, keep me waiting and then come in and insult me why don't you!....I digress... It would have been nice to not be taken advantage of; warned of concussions when my head didn't even strike anything. It would have been nice for the flashing lights to say, "You know what, there's nothing wrong with you, no need in going to the hospital."

The cost of Band-Aids has skyrocketed!

Instead they whispered ominous nothings in my ear. They claimed I looked dizzy and that I could have a fracture. But no one offered to examine any of that at the hospital, nor did  they perform any type of X-Ray... No, all they did was get a band-aid and ask me how many times I've thought of suicide while a COP stood there waiting to give me a citation and a fuck you. 





This is not about me and definitely not about my expensive band-aid, it's about our fucked up system in general. Yes someone has to pay for the medical care rendered; those paramedics, doctors, nurses and the rest of the medical professionals work very hard. But it seems as though this business is more about taking advantage of wallets in desperate situations. 

I live in a country where credit cards are sent to people's homes faster than the gas and electric company during a power outage. 

Just me hanging out with friends on the cotton field

We are suffering in debt slavery and we are ALL enslaved. Black, White, Brown, Purple, no matter your color, all they care about is keeping you owing somebody some damn money.

Same debt, different Presidents

Oh it's never YOUR money. Was it your money when you got money back from your taxes and the IRS took it back? They can garnish your wages, your employer can lower your wages, your local gas station can raise their prices and the apples at the grocery store must have a golden core these days. 

Sure it's my fault for going to the hospital for a scraped knee and it's my fault for rear ending the mini van in the first place. Yes it's my fault for not having a good paying job with full benefits because after all, these type of jobs are out there for the picking like summer dandelions! 

I don't have all of the answers, if I did, I'd be God. I just know that this system is fucked up. This system doesn't appear to give a damn about us like the late Michael Jackson tried to tell us decades ago.

I just know a band-aid is a band-aid and nickle and dime-ing people is not going to help the economy. I am willing to go to CVS, buy a few boxes of BAND-AIDS and alcohol bottles to donate to the hospital. I am willing to mop their floors and suck a few hung doctor dicks; but I am not willing to pay $655.00! Yes I was stupid, but that's a high price to pay. 

My goal this year and hopefully not through next year is to get some good health insurance. Lord knows I am as clumsy as they come, Steve Urkel has nothing on me. I will trip on an ant. I will get tangled in my bed sheets while trying to go to the bathroom at night. I fall INTO the shower every morning. 

Yes, I of all people need to have health insurance. 

I could also complain about these student loans that I am somehow managing to keep up with. I could bitch and moan about the lack of decent jobs in my field after graduating university. I could even claim that I shouldn't have to pay the loans back because I matriculated into an unfair and suppressed workforce. 

Tuition costs rise, student loan debt rises, economy suffers

But when I took the loan, I understood what it was; A LOAN. But what I will say is that these loans should be partially forgiven in many unfortunate circumstances. People shouldn't have to be forty-five years old paying back undergrad loans. Especially when they are working at Home Depot piling slabs of wood on shelves when they have a degree in Journalism.

And we thought he'd be superhuman like Moses

How is it helping the economy to have hard working Americans paying back corrupt loans which pile on so much interest they end up looking like America's debt to China? Shouldn't these American's have more opportunity to put their income into the, I don't know, economy? They could use that money to shop and eat at restaurants. Instead they have to pay back loans for a dream that never came to fruition. They have to wonder what the entire God forsaken point was in going to college, getting gang banged by frat boys, catching crabs, eating Ramen noodles, only to be at Home Depot selling flowers which you are allergic to. Now you're ringing up flowers, sneezing and becoming a zombie. 


In God we trust? Bitch please. God can't co-sign this bullshit. That federal reserve foolery has got to be tried in a higher court than what we have in this country. 

That's all for now. Look, all I can advise is this: If you are uninsured and not badly injured, STAY YOUR ASS OUT OF THE AMBULANCE AND HOSPITAL! RUN AWAY FROM THE FLASHING LIGHTS!